Fishing humor – fishing jokes, jokes about goldfish.

At the top of a small waterfall you can see various fish with fishing rods baited with bottles of wine, medals, valuables etc., Over the heads of people floating in the stream below.
Signature in French original: April Fool.

The cat finally reaches the pier, from which it dives with a splash, scaring the fish in the water and the angler.

The angler went fishing. As usual, he caught a goldfish. She told him:
– Forget about three wishes! But I can give you one piece of advice…
– Wal go ahead!
– Come here less often… stag!
– What would you do, as if you caught a goldfish?
– I would ask her for money.
– And I am for love.
– And I would fry reptiles!!!
– Why?!!!
– Previously, I asked her for love and friendship. Now I'm chasing fagots in love, and the women propose: “let's be friends”.

Vanya caught a goldfish.
– fish: let me go I will fulfill your wish
– Ok
– You want a villa?
– No
– You want a Mercedes?
– No
– You want a medal for bravery?
– So clear.
There was a boom, whacked and Vanya was right on the battlefield with two grenades in his hand. She looks at him and fucks him 10 tanks. Vanya, pissed off by clenched teeth:
– Oh shit, the posthumous she gave me!!!

The guy's coming fishing in a golden Mercedes. He gets out of the car all in gold (chains, bracelets etc.), pulls out a golden fishing rod with a golden line and goes fishing. After a while he catches what? …..goldfish, of course. He looked at her, he looked around with contempt and is about to throw it back into the water, and the goldfish for it:
– Hey rybaku! A three wishes?
– Eeeee, but good. What do you want?

The fisherman has caught a goldfish, and this one spoke with a human voice:
– I am an enchanted princess, kiss me and I will comply 3 your wishes.
The fisherman kissed the fish and after a while a beautiful princess stood in front of him.
– What are your 3 wishes?
– I have one wish, but three times!

The nice fisherman released a veeery little goldfish.
This she thought
– “And so I will meet his first 3 wishes”
The fisherman rolled up the fishing rod and thought:
– Fuck in the ass and anchor in the back, what would only blow well.

He caught a mute goldfish.
– Let me out, and I will make your innermost dream come true, says the fish.
– In response, the mute draws a diamond in the air and sticks out its tongue.
– You want some ice cream?
– The man is silent and draws a rhombus again and sticks his tongue out.
– Maybe you want money?
– The visitor remains silent and continues to draw a rhombus…
– Renault in lizing?

Leonardo di Caprio caught a goldfish before filming one of the films:
– I want to be always happy, I want women to love me and I want everything to end well – said when asked for three wishes. The fish thought, she nodded and says:
– The first two are fine, an opium smoking room and a brothel on the Titanic, but where the hell can I find you toothless shark?

The fisherman caught a goldfish, which spoke to him:
– All right, and the third wish?
– Wait a minute – the fisherman was surprised. – Like this third wish? What about the first and the second?
– The second wish so effectively wiped out the effects of the first, that you don't remember anything now. So how will it be with this third wish?
– Let's think for a moment – the fisherman frowned. – I would like, for women to be crazy about me.
– Let it be that way – the fish replied. – By the way, it is interesting.
Your first wish was exactly the same…

A drunk fisherman has caught a goldfish.
The fish says: fisherman, let me out, and your three wishes will be fulfilled.
Okay, says the fisherman, I want this whole lake to be made of vodka.
fish: it has already come true!
A fisherman dips his finger in the lake, and actually booze!
Well, now my second wish, little fish. Wants, so that all tributaries to this lake also come from vodka!
fish: it has already come true! Well, what is your last wish?
The fisherman thinks and thinks and finally speaks, and give me another half liter!

The fisherman has caught a goldfish and has already made two wishes. The fish is asking, to pronounce a third.
– Then tell me, when i die – says the fisherman.
– I can not – the fish replies – but I can tell you who you will be in the next lifetime.
– then speak.
– You're gonna play golf.
– Like this, I can't play golf.
– Then get ready, because in two weeks you have your first game.